Please realize I know how the church works, was extremely active and raised good kids. Drinkers tend to rely on drink before they can have fun. If she doesn't care that you aren't a member now, if your relationship goes on long enough, she is going to care eventually.
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Reason being - he wants our relationship to be spontaneous like it was before the pre-med things really "kicked in". Things have worked out pretty well with us so far. We do have cancelled Skype dates and rescheduled phone calls but when I really need him he puts his needs aside. She will insist on raising her children in the Mormon church. We visit when he has a rotation that gives him weekends off, and compromise sleep and fun. We also noticed a change in all of our parents and children alike moods. I made a conscious decision to marry outside the church for my own reasons. Like, she thought that serving would remedy her of any doubts or testimony issues. However, you might be lucky to not have the experience I did. The city we will be living in for his residency is expensive as he is getting into a wonderful program.
No one knows your situation the way you do. Not all of us are able to achieve that ideal but we are to strive for it. However her husband joined the church a few years after their marriage. If she can see that YOU are what is important in the relationship, not what you or she believes, ya'll have a chance. I would do it all over again and thank my lucky stars that I found this man, that he loves, and that I love him.