She might want to follow the 'virgin until marriage' part, or she may personally decide to forego following that in secret. Be prepared for divorce. Pray about it and follow your heart. I have believed in for better for worse but I cant do it any longer. I've been married to a doctor for 5 years now been together for 11 years and he is in his first year of Anaesthetics. I'll definitely talk with her about my concerns, and will be spending time with her family over the upcoming holidays so that will be a good chance to see how they treat me. I am active in church, I take my kids regularly, and I have callings. Honestly a lovely man but the sheer focus of time and attention has meant there is little if any left for me, I'm lucky if I get 5 minutes in comparison with some nights of 2 hours going on and on and on about work. Except his wife was and still is a witch.
Marriage is simply not an option to me there. Qlee, what do YOU need. What upsets me most is that he didn't realize it was my birthday, or a big one and then that his reaction was to get defensive about his plans rather than offer an alternative for celebrating with me. This is not about either of you individually. Not leaving 5 minutes early to drop you off - 15 minutes could get problematic, but five?.
As for conversion, she just spent every waking second thinking about converting people. Would she be okay with never being married in the temple. I don't know what to do. Learn more about the LDS Church. You can always expand these into group dates by inviting other couples along, which may make her more comfortable in the early stages of your relationship.
I really hadn't considered a lot of the points people have brought up. Love and support them just as you would if your husband was a carpenter. Not his wife and kids.