Here are a few questions you could ask her. Don't forget too that IF you are successful in turning the lights on and deconverting her, the family would resent you the rest of their lives. Better than freezing up and avoiding them altogether. I had been teetering on the fringes for quite a long time, mostly coming to Church but not really being present, because I felt like an outcast as an older single. Her Religion is the single most important thing in her life.
So if you are dating a Mormon guy, always wear knee-length, avoid tiny shorts, mini skirts, short or revealing dresses, plunging necklines, or sleeveless tops. I married a NOMO after a lengthy temple marriage and divorce. The church creates massive guilt and shame in children and adults usually through sex related shaming. There are all kinds of Mormons, and we as exmormons should know better than to stereotype our former selves. I hope so; otherwise I will have spent the best years of my life putting him thru grad school and med school. All those are reasons to give the church some elbow room but they are not reasons for actually staying. While a part of me is sad about not having a temple marriage and getting sealed together I have hope that this could change while we are on this earth and I have faith in an ever-loving Father in Heaven who is kind and just and will be able to provide a way for my family to live together in the eternities. Notify me of new posts via email. It made me so very sad. This was the biggest one for me.
Having seen many examples of the disaster it becomes when a member spouse pushes, coerces, ultimatums the non-member spouse into being baptized, I have very assiduously steered clear of those methods from the start. I'm so sorry to hear this. My advice would be to date him when he has free time. He's now in his 3rd year of a 4 year residency program and is hoping to do a 2 year fellowship next.