I agree with Rachel- this is not what I signed up for. If she says yes. If we have children, they will be OK to go to your church, but not compelled to do so, and never baptized. I am a non-Mormon woman married to a Mormon manвwhich seems to be a less common scenario in the LDS world. I let her know I'd been reading on LDS.
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If she is full on Mormon, this relationship will go one of two ways: You will convert and change your entire lifestyle and personality to conform with her expectations never to deconvert or you will face severe penalitesor you will break up because you won't convert and change everything about yourself. Good communication, love, support and understanding are the things you should consider. The big one is that under Mormon theology both of you must be believing, fully active members to live together in the afterlife. Either way, if you have kids and you don't convert, she will divorce you and take your kids away from you and you will be shunned from her community. Don't wait for it to eventually fall apart or hope that she will change. I think the LDS have been vastly over-simplifying that doctrine.
Over the years, it would have felt increasingly burdensome to accommodate practices that seemed to me like superstition. Like you I grew up with and taught the standard LDS beliefs about temple marriage, celestial kingdom, etc. Again, I deeply love my dad, but these were things that I had to deal with. It broke my shelf, we left as an entire family, and our marriage is better than ever. I don't know how to manage the resentment. I haven't read every post like you probably havebut I've read a lot of them. Good to see that I'm not alone. Oh, yeah, and this girl belongs to a verifiable cult. But remember that it is also your wife's choice to obey or disobey, and that you have no authority over her as a person, either. It's a heart-wrenching story.
I thought it was beautiful that they included him in the circle, even though he was not a Priesthood holder. Would she be okay with having a home that is split religiously. She still lives in her hometown though.